Trauma & ReEntry
Being incarcerated for any amount of time can damage a person’s psyche. This is due to the trauma, violence, and dehumanization of prison life. While people find ways to survive in prison, what happens after they are released? Experiences of trauma may result in PTSD and shape formerly incarcerated people’s relationships to their family, friends, and community.
In the book, “Didn’t Nobody Give a Shit what Happened to Carlotta,” the main character, Carlotta Mercedes, grapples with the effects of prison while tackling the outside world. When she is initially released from prison, she is not acclimated to the world on the outside in any meaningful way. She is not connected to psychosocial therapy or services to help her manage her memories of the assaults and trauma that she endured. Her PTSD is pronounced, and she is also managing the stressors related to returning to her family and community as a Trans Woman.
When Carlotta interacts with others, her mind races rapidly as she fears the exchange may turn violent and she tries to protect herself. For example, when her niece babbles continuously, Carlotta listens patiently while thinking that the girl is “taunting her in a shady way [with] that sneaky tone she knew from the sarcasm of COs, the taunting of one particular rapist.” Because of Carlotta’s experiences of trauma in prison, this seemingly innocent conversation with her niece overwhelms her and she begins yelling and cursing at the little girl.
Similarly, while talking with an old friend who she loves dearly, Carlotta cannot escape her trauma. Carlotta tells her friend vivid stories about being assaulted in prison in order to “make sure there is a record of what happened to her.” Still, even with this disclosure, Carlotta is heavily guarded, afraid that her friend might stab her in the back – literally and figuratively - at any time. All threats, big and small, are treated by Carlotta as a life-or-death situation.
Reacting in this way does not make Carlotta a bad person. Her behavior reflects the environment where she has lived for half of her life. Because she has not been given proper mental health treatment, she is reactive in a way that can alienate potential allies, like her niece and friend. The reactions of her friends and family to how Carlotta expresses her feelings aren’t necessarily bad either, but they often reflect a lack of empathy, compassion, and education. In short, trauma is not pretty and can cause the person suffering from it to express their feelings in an "unsavory way.” In addition, the symptoms of trauma are exacerbated by a lack of community care and education.
When faced with an unwelcoming environment, as many formerly incarcerated people are, PTSD and trauma may become even harder to deal with. Holding space for people to safely describe their lived experiences and feelings is very important. Lack of human connection can lead to re-traumatization that gets worse over time. Our work at SHAWN is an opportunity for participants to share stories about their lived experiences. Through this dialogue, we demonstrate care for each other and collaborate to build a future where justice-involved women can receive the care that they need to live their best lives.
